A Note to Parents

You are now preparing with your child for his or her first celebration of the Sacrament of Reconciliation. This great sacrament makes God’s loving forgiveness present to us in a very real way. The Sacrament of Reconciliation is a wonderful gift for your child, to you, and to all God’s people. To assist you in this preparation, we offer you this booklet. It contains some ideas, reflections and suggestions for activities which you could do at home as a family to make this time of preparation more meaningful.

You have accepted the invitation to attend a meeting of the parents at which the process of preparation has been outlined. This program is not meant to be the only preparation you child will receive, nor is it even meant to be the main element of you child’s preparation for the Sacrament of Reconciliation. The programs offered here at the parish and those offered at the school, if your child is enrolled at a Catholic School, are merely supplements to the ongoing catechesis that happens in your family home. Please be assured that, in this effort, you have the full support of the parish, and we hope that you will feel free to contact us at any time with your comments, questions and concerns.

The program offered at the Catholic Schools is the remote preparation for this sacrament. Here at the parish, we offer an immediate preparation for the children and their parents. Both of these are aids to assist you, the parents, in the proximate preparation of you child. The individual celebrations will take place on the Saturdays of Lent in the Reconciliation Room of our parish church. Given the number of children and their families, other times will be added if needed. Special needs can also be met by making an appointment with Father Al McMillan.

At the 11:00 am Mass each Sunday, St Andrew the Apostle Parish offers a program for Children, especially those who are preparing for sacraments. This program is called Children’s Liturgy of the Word. With this program, children are invited to go to the Parish Hall with some adult leaders. There, the scripture, the Word of God, is related to your child in an age-appropriate manner. Our adult leaders will explain the Word of God and offer them an opportunity to make something which relates to the readings and can be taken home as a reminder of how they have encountered Jesus with the other children. We invite you to consider this as a means of helping your child to grow in the love of Jesus as we meet him in the Gospels and reflect on His Word.

This is a very special time, not only for your child, but also for your whole family and for the parish community as well. May we all enter into the spirit of joy and anticipation as we share the preparation of your child for the Sacrament of Reconciliation.

Many adults have hesitations about coming to the Sacrament of Reconciliation. They may wonder about why we Catholics need to confess to a priest, or they may have had experiences that they interpret as negative, or they may have been taught an unhealthy or unbalanced sense of sin from their youth. Having a healthy way of looking at the Sacrament means that we realize that the world is not perfect and neither are we. There are areas and events in our lives in which we know that we don’t have it all together or need to put things right. Sometimes relationships are damaged or even broken because of things we do or say, or things we don’t do or say. God’s love and capacity to forgive is bigger than any of this. Through God’s love and mercy we have available to us the help we need to make things right. God offers us abundance of life and calls us to conversion. This is what the Sacrament of Reconciliation celebrates – the assurance of the overflowing generosity of God, the help that God offers us, the knowledge of the love and mercy of our faithful God. St Paul tells us that there is nothing that can separate us from the love of God. In the Sacrament of Reconciliation, we experience the truth of this saying, and we celebrate it. We hear the words and see the signs and gestures that show us that God is with us always, loving, healing, forgiving and calling us to new life.

In addition to talking and praying with your child, reading Gospel stories and bringing him or her to Mass with you, you can also prepare your child for the Sacrament of Reconciliation by practicing with him or her the format (words) of the Sacrament. This will help your child become familiar with the words and gestures that are part of the celebration of the Sacrament, and familiarity always reduces any anxiety a person might feel. Here is an example of how one might approach the Sacrament of Reconciliation.

If your child is a student in a Catholic School, don’t forget to ask them to share what they are learning at school about the great Sacrament of Reconciliation.

Family meal times can be noisy and chaotic. Sometimes it is difficult even to find a time when everyone in the family can sit down together to share a meal. Mealtimes together have great value, however. The give the family a chance to pause in the middle of a hectic day and to share more than just food. At mealtimes, families share life, love, the events of one another’s day, hopes, fears, and dreams. We often review our day as we sit down together for a meal. We also pray together, beginning each meal with a Grace, and sometimes ending each meal with another prayer.

Mealtimes are excellent times for bringing attention to the family activity of preparing one of the children for the Sacrament of Reconciliation. They can be opportunities for the whole family to draw attention to the child who is preparing for the Sacrament. The following is a suggestion for Grace before a meal:

Mealtimes and bedtime are only two of the many times in any day when we can pause to lift our minds and hearts to God in prayer. There are many moments in everyday family life when prayer is called for. For example, people often pray a Morning Offering when they arise; we pray in thanksgiving in joyful times and for help in difficult times. People also pray for guidance when they don’t know what to do. We pray for help for people who are ill, in trouble or in need.

Our days are hectic. We often look forward to the times and places in our lives which allow us to be quiet, to reflect, and to pray. These moments and places give us an opportunity to develop our relationship with the God who loves us.

During this time of preparation for the Sacrament of Reconciliation, take the opportunity to pray with your child that you make know the love of God in your lives, and may learn how to give that love to others. Give thanks together for the people who show God’s love to you. Pray for those you may have hurt and ask for God’s forgiveness and help to do better.

When you brought your child to be Baptized, the Church prayed this for you:

There have been many milestones already in you child’s journey of faith. The first was Baptism, when you child was welcomed into the Christian Community. This was followed by other important events, such as teaching your child to pray, bringing him or her to Mass each Sunday, and helping him or her to deal with the joys and sorrows of everyday life in a healthy way. This year, your child will celebrate the Sacrament of Reconciliation for the first time, and will receive another Sacrament of Initiation: the Sacrament of Eucharist.

Having experienced the love of your family and the ups and downs for family life, and the growing relationship with Jesus, your child may now be ready to deepen his or her understanding of what it means to be part of any community. Life is not always tidy. Even though we love each other, we sometimes hurt one another and cause damage to others and to our relationship with them. Often, we need to say, "I’m sorry". When someone loves us, the accept our apology and welcome us back with loving arms. The story of the Prodigal Son (or, as it is sometimes called, the: Loving and Forgiving Father) can be found in the Gospel of St Luke, chapter 15. In telling this story, Jesus gives us a wonderful example of the kind of reconciliation that can happen between parents and their children. It is also a story which tells us how God wants to be with us. God loves us like the best of parents. When we cause damage to our relationship with God, God is always ready to welcome us back with wide open arms. Notice that Jesus also includes the relationship of the other brother. He too needs to be reconciled with the Prodigal Son. The story is not complete until the brother enters into the celebration. God is like the parent who loves and forgives. The brother is like those of us who make up the Church Community of Faith. Reconciliation involves both and that is why we celebrate reconciliation as a family, not just as an understanding between God and ourselves. We grow in our relationship with God and each other. Reconciliation is a family experience.

It is important to call to mind that this process of preparation in which we are now engaged is not only for your child’s "First Confession." It is, in fact, a preparation for making the celebration of the Sacrament of Reconciliation an aspect of living as a Catholic Christian through all of life. The Sacrament of Reconciliation is a gift, not just once, but for every time we feel the need to hear the words, "You are forgiven." It is a Sacrament that brings peace and healing, not just to the child, but to people all through their lives.

A good, balanced preparation for the Sacrament of Reconciliation now can lay the groundwork for a healthy approach to the Sacrament for the rest of a person’s life. It is with this in mind that we offer you the following suggestions for things you can do at home to prepare your child for the Sacrament of Reconciliation.

Your child belongs to you by birth, adoption or another agreement, and to the Catholic Christian Community by virtue of their Baptism. Just as he or she feels a need to belong, happy and secure, to your family, so also does he or she need to feel comfortable, happy and secure in our family of faith. The best way to build this sense of belonging is simply to participate! Let your child ask questions, discuss and become familiar with the church building and its contents, and with the community that gathers there, the rituals, symbols and events. Your child might wis to take part in the Liturgy of the Word for Children that is offered at the 11:00am Mass each Sunday. After Mass, on the way home in the car or at home, talk over the Gospel and the Homily.

Knowing the prayers of the Mass that are said or sung by all the people is an important part of developing a sense of belonging. These include:

The Confiteor ( I confess to Almighty God...)

The Gloria,

The Creed,

The Holy, Holy, Holy Lord,

The Acclamation of Faith (Christ has died...)

The Great Amen,

The Our Father

The Lamb of God.

These prayers can be found in a missalette or a Sunday missal. (If you do not have these, we can make copies for you.) Don’t try to teach them all at once. God slowly, at your child’s own pace. You could try saying one of these prayers together with your child before bedtime each evening. However, repeated hearing of these prayers in the context of the Mass is the most natural way of learning them.

Encourage your child to ask questions about God and faith.

Adult people are sometimes a little uncomfortable talking about their faith or their relationship with God. It seems like such a deeply personal and private matter. It is good to keep in mind, however, that we all learn best by example. Therefore, if a child is to come to know Jesus and to grow in relationship with Him, then he or she needs to hear from family, friends, school and parish that such a relationship is possible and life-giving. Don’t be afraid to talk with your child about your faith in Jesus Christ who is really God living among us. In time, your child will also come to appreciate that God is three Divine Persons: the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit and that we are aided in our relationship with God by all three.

Children love to hear stories. Talk with your child about Jesus, and especially about His message of love and forgiveness. With children, and with each other, we can never stress enough the fact that God loves us and wants us to be reconciled. God’s love is unconditional; this means that God loves us ‘no-matter-what’. When we do wrong, God waits with open arms for us to say "I’m sorry."

There are some excellent stories in the Bible which illustrate this wonderful love of God. You might want to look at the following stories.

Luke 15: 11-32 (The Prodigal Son or the Forgiving Father) or

Luke 19: 1:10 (Zaccheus Changes his Ways) or

Matthew 18: 12-14 (The Lost Sheep)

You might want to read them more than once or ask your child to choose one of the stories that is their favorite. Having a little discussion after the reading will help to connect the ideas to the preparation for Reconciliation.

In addition to reading the stories that Jesus told, talk with your child about what forgiveness means at a human level. Your child has probably already experienced the warmth and relief of being forgiven by you and others. In all likelihood, your child has also experienced the joyful feeling of generosity that comes with forgiving others. Share some experiences of forgiveness with one another.